I've been dying,
to be someone I'm not,
I've been trying,
to do this all wrong,
I've been screaming for your attention,
You're blind, and deaf.
I've thought of popping the pills,
Imagined smoking the herb,
I've thought of drowning in wine,
But I found the fix.
I found the sex.
I discovered this one thing,
This one place I can go,
A place I feel someone loves me, Someone wants me, Someone needs me,
I've been trying to be a failure
Just so you would help me,
I've attempted to be everything you pity, just so you'd care.
Why haven't you tried?
To save me?
Why has absolutely no one, realized, I am not ok.
I am not back to normal.
I am not myself inside.
Why haven't they noticed, I want their help.
I want there concern, I didn't want it so much then, as I do now.
Can't they tell I'm dying?
What I do is wrong.
They know what I do is wrong,
They know its bad for me, have they not said anything cause they don't care?
Cause they don't want the risk?
Cause they think I'll snap "It's none of your business." and stomp away?
Maybe because I need to ask for help.
But I can't ask for help.
I need to be a rock for my family,
I needed to be their rock when you left us,
Why haven't they noticed?