I've learned that I'm not gonna be all these things I think I should be. I'm always looking for something to live my life like. Looking for someone to compare my life too, someone who's similar to me. Someone that will prove to me this is normal. But I don't think I'm gonna find it. Fuck, I'm happy! I'm damn happy! I'm hot. My boyfriends hot. It's summer. I have family. I have a home, food and my health. I'm lucky as hell. Why am I such a Debbie Downer? I need to stop being a Mar idiot.