Do you feel like someone punched you in the stomach, ripped your heart out, stomped on it, slapped you in the face and then screamed all of your secrets into a megaphone for the world to hear? That's how I feel.

I'm so tired of sobbing when I hear your name. I'm sick of seeing pictures of you. I'm done feeling like this. I need this to go away. I don't know what to do. Before you, I don't know how I lived. I don't remember how to live without you. I'm actually helpless without you. I literally am a total mess.

I need to stop listening to Taylor Swift and Ne Yo. I need to stiffen my upper lip and let people talk shit.

Get it over with. Talk shit.

I need to forget everything that happened between us. At least for now. Its to painful to remember. I've done that before though. I've come so far. I can look back at a lot of memories and smile, memories I used to not even be able to hear about without hurting. I need to wait for the time when I can look back at good times, and feel happy. I need to go back to the way I was.