Sunday, October 3, 2010

hi again,

truth is, i'm working on myself. no really.

i'm playing my guitar again. yeah. i know. haha.
i'm writing still. not as much. but sometimes.

i'm learning. trying to learn actually.

yeah.

i miss you.

i'm almost crying.

i wish it was you sometimes.

i had a dream about you last night. it was a dream about a memory. okay. i had a memory about you last night.

in the back yard in July with the football. and you kept licking my face. and i was laughing really hard.

ouch.

stop acting like that.

like i was a waste of time. like i meant nothing. i know you loved me. past tense? no. because when you love someone. you love them forever. you don't stop. it just fades into the back of your heart. but it doesn't go away. you'll always be there in the back of my heart.

please tell me i'll be on yours.

you don't have to.

i already know.

i won't say the three words we said all along. for they don't mean what I'm trying to tell you.

I'm trying to say this isn't out of the ordinary. things happen a lot with people like us. just remember no one knows your story like i do. and no one will ever have as much of me as you did and always will. you took a piece of me when you walked away that night, a big huge aching piece that loved you more than you can imagine. this hurts me. you probably will act like I'm crazy. like I'm being totally stupid right now. and i am. just take a second and think. please. about everything. love is a mistake worth making. so this is it for today. but not forever.

you were worth it,
carly.

3 comments:

Kathryn said...

Maybe I seem like I'm lurking too much on your blog leaving all these comments but wow, this post left me almost in tears. It reminds me so much of the exact thing that I am going through right now :/

Kay said...

I'm sorry, Carly :[

But everything you said is so true. This post almost left me in tears, too...

*Carly* said...

thank you both, both of you are my two inspirations for blogging so having you both say such nice things makes me so happy:) haha. but yeah, its tough shit. everyone goes through it eventually.