Tuesday, December 21, 2010

in a world where you only want what you want until its yours.

i walked through the halls today and realized, if someone can read my mind right now, my life is fucking over. i try everyday when you talk to me to smile politely, to swallow the words bubbling in my throat and nod sweetly while you speak. you touch my shoulder and i nearly kill myself trying to keep my legs from giving out under me. when you laugh i want to scream at everyone to be quiet so i can listen to the melody. every time you smile i wish i had a remote to pause time; take a picture and keep it under my pillow. look at it every night when i pray and tell god i'm sorry. for all the things i've done to not deserve you. i promise to change for you. but i know i won't. i'm far to selfish, and you, you're far to perfect.

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