forever young.

right now, i'm not sure what i feel. there's so much going on.

all i do know is i want, to get that white lace dress at BoardingHouse. I want to go to the crappy mall parking lot carnival with you. I want to hold your hand and run down the street on the last day of school. I want you to be there when i walk across stage. I want to go to Mayflower and eat pizza. I wanna listen to Forever Young 1000 times. I wanna run and scream and jump for summer. even though, summer, is gonna suck. I'll be at camp. With all those people i thought i was leaving behind. All the people that wouldn't mind nailing me in the face. All those people that know me far to well. I wanna have a summer with you. and without all them.

I want you to feel better. I want you to not be stressed. I.. hope you don't read this. and I hope that I can see you again.

Maybe it's dumb, but i feel like her saying she wasn't letting you see me is really gonna change much? It's June now. She never really brought you anywhere anyways. It's gotta be different now. Last summer when I met you, i didn't think i'd be here right now.

 Sometimes i wonder what it'd be like without you. Then i remember, all this stress, and holding this all in, keeping all this from you, is for the best, and with you, i'm happy. That's all that matters. Right?..