i didn't wanna tell you how i really felt, so i bit my tongue. i know you don't know about this so i'll write it here. and when you do find out and take a peek, which you will. just like everyone else seems too... you'll know.


so this whole religious thing, i've been thinking a lot about it. so heres my rant on i don't know. it.


sometimes things happen that cause you to question your faith. when my dad was in the hospital, i woke up every morning and said "God's on my side. He would never take Dad from me! Why would he do that? I'm good."


"God" (in quotations for the reason i'm not quiet sure thats what i wanna call him) doesn't care if you;re good or bad. but  


questioning David and Goliath here (Google it if you don't know..)


If you could "Win any battle with 'God' on your side" then why did my Dad die? Why do kids get cancer? Why do so SO many innocent people die. God has to be on some of their sides. Right?


and on the other hand; maybe God was on my side helping me get through it. Maybe God's there holding the child's hand while they go through kemo. Maybe God doesn't cause death; but the Devil does and God can't fight him off. 


i just reread this and laughed and then felt really really stupid. i'm so obnoxious sometimes; i don't understand why i have friends. k...